A meal without peas or vinegar - now with added vinegar

It has been brought to my attention (by myself - I'm not sure if anyone other than my sister and my friend Rick has ever actually read this blog) that all of my dishes thus far contain peas and vinegar.  Not to diminish the little green gems value because by Golly I love a pea as much as the next man, vinegar definitely even more so - but occasionally I have been known to endure a meal without them.

If you're looking to concoct a tasty late night feast then look no further than my pot noodle con toast y crisps, or for the philistines out there pot noodle with toast and crisps.

This is a simple dish that anyone out there can rustle up if willing but it does take a little time to prepare.

Firstly, you should meet up with a group of people with the intention of having one drink, sure. Start lightly with a pint of lager top (nb. may be substituted for a white wine spritzer) follow it up with another, then another, then another, then a jager bomb, then another, then a tequila (we all know that you're lying if you say that you're "allergic" to tequila to try and get out of drinking it by the way).  And relax.



By this point you should have worked up a healthy appetite, especially if you and your friend Sean selfishly took over the ENTIRE dance floor doing dirty salsa routines and the splits to the point where other people who "just wanted to come out and have a nice night" had to dance in their seats because the big kids wouldn't let them play.  Not that we're big, probably both quite small but you know what I mean. (Oh and by the way, self, just because you say "oh my god,  I must be drunk, I'm doing the splits to show off" doesn't somehow mean that you're not showing off anymore).






And so to the last tube home and dinner.

Pot Noodle con toast y crisps

What you will need

Chicken and mushroom pot noodle

Salt and Vinegar Mccoys - bugger there's vinegar in those

Bread - brown and seeded - you're a lady for Christ's sake

Butter or margarine or whatever

Recipe

1. Take lid off pot noodle

2. Boil kettle

3. Put toast into toaster

4. Open crisps

5. Eat some crisps

6. Pour water to water fill line - this isn't easy to find so just pour some water in to your pot noodle

6. Eat some crisps

7. Take toast out of toaster, realise it isn't cooked put it back for a bit.

8. Take toast out of toaster

9. Spread butter or whatever on to toast

10.  Stir pot noodle with fork.

11. Eat in bed

12.  Drink pot noodle juice

I went back to my Mum's this weekend and while I was there my wondrous niece made me a delicious plastic meal of plastic croissant and plastic "peas".  I think we all know where her culinary prowess is heading.