A Proper 'Council' Meal

Generic fish finger brand,
don't you worry readers,
I'm no corporate sell out.

Do you remember when people used to use 'a bit council' as way of describing something cheap or rubbish? As an adjective it's disrespectful and snobby and elitist.  I, for one, shall not be using that word  again and will just describe tonight's dinner as a bit trampy instead.

Please see recipe for
comment

I had an awful realisation the other day that I'm getting a bit bored of peas... Luckily for all you pea lovers out there, they taste exactly the same whether you cook them for 2 or 12 minutes - an invaluable tool in the kitchen of an anti-chef like myself (FYI  I googled chef antonyms to check that there wasn't a better word and yahoo answers gave me "inept", "retarded" and "lazy"- cheers yahoo, no wonder google is infinitely more successful than you).  I'm getting side tracked but suffice it to say, tonight's meal contains peas...

...Peas and cabbage and fish fingers.

Don't worry I totally got more
after the shock of last week.

I feel the need to point out that the reason I eat a lot of vegetables isn't because I'm very healthy or that I'm on a diet (although, since you bring it up,  I have put on half a stone in the last three weeks - I'd actually rather not talk about it, but thanks for reminding me, anyway it's only because alcohol contains a lot of empty calories so I could totally lose it in, like, no time if I even wanted to which I don't, even).

I'm not - on a diet - just yesterday I had a nandos,  although, weirdly,  I've had a stomach ache for over 24 hours now (AGAIN,  I really don't want to talk about it.  You're being a real bitch tonight, do you know that?)

So, peas and cabbage and fish fingers, mmmm.  That's actually quite a normal meal isn't?  The sort of thing that someone who could cook but couldn't be bothered to put the effort in might make, right?

Microwavable cabbage!  Who knew?  It's a revelation.  You barely have to do anything to it, just put it in the microwave, this could become a staple.

This even looks disgusting
to me and I swear I have, like,
2 tastebuds in my entire mouth

A Proper Council Trampy Meal

What you will need

Fish Fingers

Microwavable Cabbage

Peas (obvs)

Gravy (obvs)

Vinegar (obvs)

Recipe

1. Turn on grill (any setting should be fine)

2.  Put fish fingers under it.

3. You have a few mins to kill here (cooking is all about timing), personally I put some washing on but you could flick through a magazine, run the hoover around, watch the news headlines or draw yourself a bubble bath and wack some Kenny G on the stereo ... I don't know who that is.

4. Boil kettle

5. Put water in pan with peas.

6. Cut your two bags of cabbage in half (surely it's against advertising standards or something to have two for two pound stickers on a bag of cabbage but no option to buy them individually?  It's like one separated into two halves for two pound, anyway, I digress)

7. Put your cabbage into the microwave for two minutes.

8. Read instruction on other package, take cabbage out of microwave, pierce holes in packet and place back in for the remaining time.

9. Gravy - water, blah blah

10. Put all on same plate and sprinkle generously with sarsons vinegar.

11. Eat

12. Write a blog about it - optional.  Actually don't, there's nothing creative about a copycat.

And there you have it a meal for peasants, made by a peasant, consisting of peas-ant-cabbage - look,  I made a pun on peas and peasants. Now THAT's creative little miss copy arse.

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